Steps to work through a grievance/complaint against a fellow member, Pastor, Elder or Staff Member

LifeMission Church is committed to providing a safe and healthy environment in which every person is treated with honor and respect and provided with compassionate care as needed.  We are a community of believers who are committed to seeking and pursuing peace as much as it depends on us.  (Ps 34:14, Romans 12:18) We are committed to grow into the likeness of Christ by the power of the Spirit by walking in daily repentance, obedience and love. (2 Cor 3:18)  In any body of believers there can, on occasion, be conflict. We all face situations where misunderstandings occur, expectations go unmet, or things are said that cause pain and division. Sometimes we actually sin against one another. These steps shall serve as a guide to LifeMission Leaders, Serve Teams and Members should there be an offense or grievance between one another.  


  • First, take your offense, hurt, conflict and questions to the Lord. Recognize that the Holy Spirit’s desire is to glorify God and see that played out in love for one another. (1 Thess 4:9, Phile 2:3) Ask the Lord to help you forgive your brother or sister.

  • In caring for a member, information about the member should be kept confidential unless circumstances demand otherwise.

    Possible Exceptions:

    —Information about a minor needing protection.

    —Sexual Harassment or Impropriety.

    —Misconduct, Mismanagement, Dishonesty, Embezzlement, Fraud or Theft.

    If your offense falls in one of these aforementioned categories. Please see the section entitled “Reporting a Potential Impropriety/Wrongdoing”.

  • Whenever possible, the complainant should resolve any offense exclusively and privately with the offending party. It is inappropriate to voice any offense to third parties who are unable to help in the resolution process.

    —In keeping with the biblical procedure described in Matthew 18:15-17, the first step is to go to the person directly. Clearly communicate to him/her your thoughts and feelings on the particular matter. Listen to his/her thoughts and feelings. Taking this action with them first will often give clarity and bring reconciliation. All believers have the responsibility to obey Matthew 18:15-17 as much as possible. If going to the person directly is not successful, take a trusted Christian brother/sister with you to meet with the person (Matthew 18:16). Seek reconciliation together. If the situation is not resolved to your satisfaction, proceed to the next step. If the matter is resolved, thank the Lord for His provision and continue to live in peace with one another.

    —If you were unable to reach resolution with your brother/sister, please reach out to one of the leaders listed below. They will set up a time to meet with you and help you take the next steps in the Matthew 18 process.

For assistance in walking through the Matthew 18 model or questions regarding the Complaint and Offense Procedure, please contact one of the following leaders:

All LifeMission Church Pastors 

Bryan Vignery (Elder) Email Bryan 

Todd Davis (Elder) Email Todd

These trusted leaders will help you to move toward reconciliation with your brother/sister in Christ.  

If you have an offense/grievance against a Pastor, Elder or Staff Member?

If your complaint or grievance is with a Pastor, Elder or Staff Member at LifeMission Church, we encourage the same process.  First, speak with the Pastor, Elder or Staff Member directly.  You can always call the office and arrange a meeting.  We will happily provide another Staff Member, either male or female (whichever is appropriate), to attend with you if you would be more comfortable.  Together you can work through the Matthew 18 model to come to resolution. If you are unable to reach a resolution, please reach out to one of the leaders below and they will help facilitate the next step in the process. 

  

Pastor Jamey (Executive Pastor) jamey.santo@lifemission.church

Pastor Noemi (Women’s Pastor/HR) noemi.gibbs@lifemission.church

Bryan Vignery (Elder) bryan@vignery.com

Todd Davis (Elder) tdavis7777@gmail.com

Guidance for bringing a grievance/offense: 

Guidance for bringing an offense to a brother/sister in Christ, or for a brother/sister bringing an offense to you:

We lovingly and gently communicate offenses for the purpose of inviting others to repentance and reconciliation. But note that our sense of grievance or offense may or may not be caused by someone else’s sin. At times, we may be grieved by our unmet expectations without fault in the other person’s actions. In such cases, the solution is not for the other to repent, but for us to relinquish those expectations and misguided grudges. The complainant should prayerfully discern the situation and, as appropriate, humbly and straightforwardly communicate the matter for resolution.

Charges of wrongdoing should be brought forth with an orientation to the future – resolving the conflict and rebuilding the relationship – rather than simply allocating blame without a way forward.

Charges against a pastor or leader should be prayed through and brought forth in a serious and sober manner. Flippant or petty critiques should be avoided.

Examine your heart and take stock of your own errors and wrongdoings, confessing that before the Lord and receiving full forgiveness. Prepare to confess your sins and ask for forgiveness, even if you believe the other was more at fault.

Grieve the hurt and the offense to the best of your ability, determined to accept and embrace the hurt and to bear the loss. To forgive is to cancel the debt and choose not to bring up the issue as a weapon with which to harm the other.

In bringing the grievance to another, we are inviting them to repentance and reconciliation. We are also humbly asking them to acknowledge the wrong and, in so doing, to help us heal.

Charges of wrongdoing should be received seriously and humbly. Staff and leaders should set an example in humility and sobriety out of reverence for Christ and love for the congregation.

Both parties should repair their hearts through sincere repentance and confession of sin, and seek reconciliation with one another, being confident in the love and full forgiveness that is theirs in Christ.

Respondents should understand that submitting an offense can feel vulnerable, and grant members, their brothers/sisters, freedom to process such offenses in a safe and healthy environment.